


Lie Here With Me

by Shiori07



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Cuddling, Fluff, M/M, but I swear there's fluff to make up for it, canon with behind the scenes klance, just two dorks in love, klance, so there may be a little more angst than I originally thought, very light angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-06-10 16:49:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15295854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shiori07/pseuds/Shiori07
Summary: Collection of ficlets. Keith may seem strong and entirely independent, but Lance knows that sometimes he just wants some company. And Lance may come off as flirty and overconfident, but Keith knows that sometimes he just wants to be held. And when needed, the two indulge each other.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> "If I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?" - Snow Patrol

The first time it happened, Lance screamed bloody murder and died of cardiac arrest. He would later deny that the scream was very high or very loud _or_ that he was actually terrified. But to be honest, in that moment he thought some dark entity had come for his soul and he swore he could feel his lifeforce leave his body.

There was a loud _thud_ as the back of Lance’s head smacked the wall, but he barely registered the pain as he stared at the figure beside his bed. It shot to it’s feet as Lance sat up, and for a long moment it didn’t move.

“Sorry,” a voice cut in abruptly, and Lance could barely make out the way the figure shifted on its feet. “I just… I’ll go. I’m sorry.”

Lance squinted through the darkness. _“Keith?”_

Keith’s silhouette turned abruptly and began to walk toward the door.

Lance leaned over on his elbow, scrubbing at his eye with one hand. “Wait. Keith, stop.” The sound of footsteps across the floor halted, and Lance pushed himself up a little more. “What’s going on? Everything okay?”

There was a pause. Keith didn’t move, his body tensed to run, but it was like his muscles were drawn too taut—like a spring overstretched that threatened to shatter if let loose. “Yeah. Everything’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

“No—Keith.” Lance sat up further, staring at Keith’s back, eyebrows pinched. “You obviously came here for something. What’s wrong?”

Keith didn’t answer, and the silence between them settled heavily in the air. Lance could feel it with every breath, like glue dripping into his lungs. He swallowed.

“Keith?”

Haltingly, Keith turned around, and Lance’s eyes had adjusted enough to see that Keith wouldn’t look at him. His gaze was cast somewhere at the floor, fixed on something Lance couldn’t see.

“I couldn’t sleep,” he finally answered, his voice low. “So I was just going to sit here for a while and leave before you woke up. You can go back to sleep, I’ll just go to the training deck—”

“Hey,” Lance called, though he kept his words soft, quiet. “C’mere.”

Keith’s eyes finally flicked up. And he seemed frozen, now staring at Lance like he had floated in through the wall. He said nothing, and Lance calmly beckoned him closer, pulling back the covers and patting the empty spot beside him. Keith glanced down to Lance’s hand and back to his face, eyes wide and searching in a rare moment of vulnerability that punched Lance straight through the chest. Then, slowly, he walked toward the bed, and Lance offered him a hand, giving a gentle smile. Keith took it and was gently tugged forward, pressing his knee into the mattress first and sitting awkwardly on the edge.

“You okay?” Lance asked, still holding his hand. Keith seemed hesitant to answer, so Lance rubbed slow circles over his knuckles with his thumb. “Talk to me.”

Keith finally took a breath. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. I just can’t sleep.”

“You sure?”

Keith nodded, scrubbing at his eyes with his free hand. “Yeah. Normally I would hang out in Shiro’s room, but he’s on that diplomatic mission with Coran and I just… I needed company, I guess. I’m sorry to bother you.”

“Hey, look at me. Don’t apologize okay? You’re not bothering me.” Keith took his hand from his eyes and looked up, meeting Lance’s warm smile.

“I literally scared you so bad your head hit the wall, Lance.”

There was an answering chuckle, and Lance rubbed at the back of his neck. “Okay, you’re bothering me _a little bit,_ but I swear I don’t mind.”

“Are you—?”

“Yes. I’m sure.” Lance smiled again, trying to be reassuring, but Keith didn’t look so sure. Lance sighed, squeezing his hand. “Listen. I know this… _thing,_ between us is kinda new and we’re both still figuring out what it means. But what I know for sure is that I’m here for you, whenever you need me. You don’t have to be afraid to ask me for help.”

For a moment, the two remained in silence, though this time the air between them was a little different. A bit of warmth had seeped in, and instead of glue, it was like warm tea mixed with honey.

“Thank you.”

Keith spoke so quietly, Lance wasn’t sure if the words were part of his imagination. But he caught Keith’s lips move, even with his head dipped down, and he gave a small smile.

“Any time.” With that, he pulled Keith’s hand up and placed a kiss across his knuckles.

He felt more than saw Keith tense, picked up the subtle jerk of his shoulder and felt the way his hand went very still. He didn’t move away, which Lance was relieved by, but he took it as his cue to let Keith go, letting his hand slip onto the mattress.

“So, what can I do? Anything you need, you got it.”

Keith gave a minute smile. “Can we just… lie down? I’m tired but also wide awake and it’s terrible.”

“You got it, samurai.” Lance gave a playful salute and burrowed down into his covers again. He watched as Keith followed, lifting the blanket and pushing his legs underneath. When he laid his head on the pillow, he gave a short sigh, staring up at the ceiling for a bit before turning and meeting Lance’s gaze.

“So, you come here often?”

Keith laughed, the burst short but warm, and it made Lance grin. “No, Lance. I do not come here often.”

“You should,” he said, laughing a bit himself. “I wouldn’t mind seeing you around more.”

Keith finally turned on his side, hands tucked near his head on the pillow. “You mean that?”

“Of course I do. Why would I lie?”

“I don’t know. But I would imagine that’s how you get all the girls.”

“None of those girls have ever been like you.”

The moment he said it, Lance realized how it sounded, and he felt heat slowly prickle up his neck. If he wasn’t mistaken, Keith’s ears had reddened as well.

“ _SO,_ uh, nice weather we’re having, huh? Best I’ve seen in days, I mean, it hasn’t rained in a while and the temperature’s been nice and—you can forget what I just said, okay? Great, cool. Glad we’re on the same page.”

Through all his panicked rambling, Lance wasn’t expecting Keith to laugh. It was a small chuckle through a gentle smile, and for a moment, Lance didn’t dare breathe.

“Smooth, McClain. You do know we’re in space, right?”

“I’m trying my best, okay?” Lance mumbled, pulling the blanket over his mouth, though he returned Keith’s smile.

“I can tell.”

“Shut up.”

That made Keith laugh again, and Lance sat quietly, listening to the bright sound fill his room. He could get used to hearing it, seeing the soft, open look on Keith’s face as they lied there. Just talking. He could get used to just talking.

“I really do mean it though,” Lance said softly, pulling one arm out of his blanket. “You can come in here whenever you need to. You don’t have to ask permission for me to help you.”

It went quiet again as Keith didn’t answer, though it was more out of contemplation than anything. He just gazed at Lance across the pillow, giving a small smile. Then, he stretched his hand out, resting it a few inches away on the cool sheets. Lance mirrored the smile, taking Keith’s hand in his own.

This _thing_ between them may be new and somewhat intimidating, but Lance was willing to work it out, even if he was hurling himself blind into the unknown. And if the smile on his face or the warmth of his hand could count as indicators, Keith felt the same way.

“Good night, Keith.”

“’Night, Lance.”

Still smiling, Lance closed his eyes, stifling a yawn with closed lips as he settled further into his pillow. Within minutes, he was fast asleep, Keith following a while after, their hands still twined loosely between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this was totally self-indulgent and involved me doing a whole lot of projecting. Then again, when am I not projecting when writing these two? I don't think this anything special, but I thought I would share my vision of our boys being sappy.
> 
> As far as plot, this "story" won't really have one. It's more like a collection of happenings, starting around season 3. I've decided it's going to follow the series but more as a slight AU where everything is the same except Klance exists, it's just secret/behind-the-scenes (because I can dream, right?). There probably won't be many chapters though.
> 
> For writing/asks, you can follow my Tumblr shiori07. Or, for fun, check out fanaticcriminal.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I actually managed to write ahead a little, I'm gonna tentatively try for a Sunday/Thursday schedule.

The next time it happened, Lance was a bit more prepared… prepared meaning he heard a knock at his door as a warning and that was pretty much it. There were a few hollow taps from the metal hatch and Lance glanced up from his vanity mirror.

“Just a tick!” He swiped at the last of the moisturizer on his face, giving himself an appraising onceover before getting up. He made his way to the door and placed his hand on the panel right beside. It opened with a hiss, and standing on the other side was a familiar figure in dark pajamas.

“Oh, hey,” Lance greeted, grinning at the pleasant surprise. “You knocked this time.”

Keith’s mouth formed a small smile. “I figured I would try to be more polite this time.”

“Well, I mean. Last time you snuck into my room in the middle of the night and I still let you stay.” Lance smiled a bit wider, and Keith did the same. But that smile quickly flickered and fell, and it made Lance frown. “Everything okay?”

“I…” Keith hesitated, glancing down, and Lance was already getting a bad feeling. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah. Of course.” Lance blinked, stepping aside and allowing Keith to enter. He did so quickly, slipping passed and into the room without a sound. Lance turned his head to follow him, pressing his hand down to close the door, sealing the two of them inside.

Keith was now standing at the foot of the bed, glancing around the room. Lance suddenly became overly-conscious of the dirty clothes he left on the floor and hurriedly made his way forward.

“Uh, you can sit if you want, I was just getting ready for bed.”

 Keith glanced up, his dark eyes fixed steadily on his, like he was asking permission.

Lance gave a half smile, sitting on the edge and patting the sheets beside him. “Step into my office.”

There was still a bit of hesitation, but Keith took the few steps of distance separating them and sat down. He didn’t say anything right away, just sitting with his hands folded as he stared at them, and Lance felt himself fidget. After a minute, he turned, pulling one leg up so that he faced his visitor.

“So, what’s up?” he asked, fiddling with the fabric at the end of his shorts. “Can’t sleep again?”

Keith was silent. Being this close, Lance could finally get a good look at him. It had been a while since he and Keith had talked—at least like this. It almost seemed as if Keith was too busy to sit down these days. The few interactions they had were short and always to the point. They were about Voltron. Or something to do with aliens. Honestly, it was kinda discouraging and Lance had been starting to feel… forgotten. He had started to think Keith wanted nothing to do with him.

“Sorta,” Keith finally answered, and as he continued to stare at the hands clasped between his knees, Lance took a good look at his face. He had dark circles around his eyes.

“Do you wanna sleep here again?”

Keith’s eyes flicked up to meet his, again looking hesitant.

“I swear I don’t mind,” Lance insisted, placing a hand over his chest. “Besides… it was nice last time.”

“…Alright.”

That made Lance smile. Scooting further on the bed, he claimed his side and laid on his back with his arms crossed behind his head. He turned to Keith expectantly, not wanting to pressure him but letting him know it was really okay. Keith glanced at him, gaze cast over his shoulder, before following his lead. Lance was a bit disappointed when he didn’t turn, favoring the side that made him face the wall. And there was silence.

Lance studied Keith’s back for a minute, tracing the outline of his body and the curve of his spine. It was nice to see him here, to know that he still trusted him. It made Lance smile minutely, and he turned to flick off the light beside him.

Now that it was dark, he stared up at the ceiling with a sigh through his nose, waiting for his eyes to adjust. He heard Keith shuffle a bit beside him, but beyond that, the room was quiet. If Keith didn’t want to talk, that was fine. The two of them had been teammates long enough for Lance to know that Keith sometimes just wanted to sit in silence. Lance wouldn’t pretend to understand, but he respected it. He respected Keith, and so let him be. But he would be there for him if needed. He just didn’t want Keith to feel alone. Being alone was scary.

It took a while, but just when Lance began to feel like he could drift off, he heard Keith whisper something.

“I don’t think I can do this, Lance.”

Those words made Lance’s eyes widen, and his head turned sharply to the side. “What?”

It was a moment before Keith spoke again, and right before that, there was the unmistakable sound of an intake of breath. “I don’t think I can do this,” he said again, louder but more stilted. “I can’t—I can’t keep going on pretending everything is fine when Shiro’s—”

He stopped abruptly, and Lance pushed himself up on one elbow, staring intently at the back of Keith’s head. “Keith… no one’s asking you to pretend. It’s okay—”

“But it’s not,” Keith insisted, and Lance wished that he could see his face. “Shiro’s… he’s _gone_ and now everyone expects me to lead the team. There’s no way I can lead you guys like Shiro can—my judgement is terrible and I’m known for working better alone. And now I have to make decisions for everyone and I have to keep you all alive—so I have to pretend everything is alright when really my entire world is falling apart and I—I _can’t.”_

With a start, Lance saw Keith’s shoulder jerk. And he saw the tremors that followed, watched his body shake like a kettle ready to boil. He was instantly at Keith’s side, hand hovering over him but unsure if he should touch him. He wasn’t sure if that’s what Keith wanted.

“Hey, I know—I know, it’s okay. I know this is a lot.”

“I know you said I can’t replace him,” Keith said, his voice sounding tight, and it made a lump form in Lance’s throat. “And we’ll look for him and I’ll do my best to get him back. But we don’t even know where to _start_ and he’s been gone for weeks. I can’t help but think…”

From his new viewpoint, Lance could see the tendons in Keith’s neck tighten, his jaw clenching as he gritted his teeth. Every muscle in his body went rigid, like he didn’t dare let himself finish that thought and every cell in his body was fighting its completion.

“I miss him.”

Keith’s voice cracked, and Lance wanted to cry.

“Shh,” Lance hushed quietly, swallowing back the tears. Lifting his free hand, he brushed some hair behind Keith’s ear, stroking through the strands with his fingertips. “Shhhh, I know. I miss him too.”

“He’s my brother, Lance. He went against our greatest enemy and I couldn’t… I can’t _do_ anything.”

“There wasn’t anything you _could_ do.” Lance did his best to keep the tremor out of his voice, continuing to run his fingers through Keith’s hair, nails lightly scratching at his scalp. “And now you’re doing your best to find him. You’re doing your best to pick up the slack while he’s gone and I think that’s all Shiro could ask of you. He trusts you and you just have to trust him. He’s _Shiro._ You don’t think he can just be gone, can you?”

Keith shook his head. “I don’t know… I don’t know.”

He fell silent, and Lance wasn’t sure what else to say. He just continued to stroke Keith’s hair, offering what little support he could. He remembered that his mom would do this for him when he was upset—run her fingers through his hair and just talk to him—and hoped that it would have the same effect on Keith as it did on him.

After a while, when it was quiet and Keith had calmed down, Lance leaned over and placed a gentle kiss into his hair. He made sure to do it slowly, the dip in the bed giving Keith some warning before it happened. He didn’t tense up, but remained still as Lance leaned away again, fingers still carding through dark locks.

“You know we’re here for you, right? I’m here for you. You don’t have to go through this alone, we’re a team and everyone would be more than willing to support you. And we _will_ find him, you hear me? I promise.”

“Please don’t promise things you can’t be sure will happen.”

Lance winced at the flatness of his tone, but he didn’t stop trying to make him feel better. “I promise we’ll do our best. We’re all family, aren’t we?”

There was a pause, and Lance thought that Keith might be done talking. He stopped stroking his hair, hand placed gently above his ear as he kissed the back of his head again, then laid back down. He was closer to Keith’s body than he had been originally, but he made sure to leave some space. He didn’t want to do too much too fast.

And then Keith was turning over, and soon enough, Lance was staring right at him.

He could tell he was pale, even in this lighting—could see the darkness under his eyes and the red splotches in their whites. But his face was dry, making it unclear whether or not he had been crying. And in the moment, it seemed to take him no effort to look Lance in the eye, bangs falling into his face. And Lance didn’t breathe, because he had never been this close before, never seen the flecks of blue-gray in his eyes or the pores in his skin. He couldn’t help but think, that even through all the hell Keith had gone through—all the stress and the loss… he was beautiful.

“How?”

Lance was so lost in thought, he almost missed it. “Huh?”

Keith was studying him carefully, eyes searching as he met Lance’s gaze. “How..? How are you so calm? How do you know what to say?”

Lance gave a small smile. “I’m not. I don’t. I just try my best to help.”

There was a slight pause, and Keith continued to look at him. Really _look_ in a way that made Lance conscious of every feeling in his body—the way his hip pressed into the mattress, the warming pillow nestled between his cheek and shoulder, the feel of his skin where his feet touched down below.

And all at once, he saw Keith’s lips move.

“How are you so perfect?”

Lance’s eyes widened, and for a moment, he just stared at Keith in silence. Heat prickled up to his ears, and he rubbed at his neck with a small laugh. “I don’t know about that. But thanks, I do try.”

The corner of Keith’s lips twitched, pulling up at one corner as he finally smiled. “And you’re so humble. What a catch.”

“Oh please, with that gorgeous smile, _you’re_ the catch.”

Keith turned his head so he faced the ceiling, but it didn’t hide the embarrassed smile forming on his face. “Stop.”

Lance felt himself grin. “I would, but you deserve some cheering up. Maybe later.”

Dark eyes darted at him, lit up with a bit of mirth that hadn’t been there before. “I hate you.”

“Lies,” Lance declared simply, still smiling as he watched Keith settle more comfortably on the bed. His arms folded across his chest, loose but at ease. If he wasn’t mistaken, Keith had shifted a bit closer.

“There he is. There’s the happy Keith I know and love.”

Keith rolled his eyes, though the faint smile on his face didn’t fade. “He’s here because of you. Thanks for coaxing him out.”

“No problem. Happy Keith means Happy Lance, so it was no trouble.”

Lance watched as that faint smile twitched a bit wider. “I mean it, thank you. I’m sorry for dumping all this on you.”

A finger was immediately placed to his lips, and Keith frowned.

“Hush now. It was no problem, Lance was happy to help.”

Keith pushed his finger away. “You’re a dork.”

“That may be true, but you chose me, so it’s your fault you have to deal with me at this point.”

“Told you I had poor judgement.”

Lance gasped, throwing a hand to his heart, and Keith laughed. “Excuse you, as someone who endorsed you as the next Black Paladin, I’d say you have decent judgement.”

“Just decent?”

“Yeah. You weren’t chosen to pilot Red for nothing. She requires a very instinctive touch and sometimes instinct is a little bullheaded.”

“And that says what about you, exactly?”

“Fight me, Keith.”

More laughter bubbled out of the former Red Paladin, and Lance could only stare at him and trace every laugh line that now creased his skin. He wished that Keith would laugh more often.

“Do you think you’re ready to get some sleep now? You look exhausted.”

Keith seemed to think on it, then nodded. “Yeah, I think so.”

“Cool. Do you want some of the blanket?”

“Sure.”

Nodding, Lance sat up and snagged the corner of the comforter from where he had folded it back. He tossed it over the both of them, settling back against his pillow with a smile.

“’Night, Keith.”

“Lance?”

Lance glanced over at him, eyebrows raised. “Yeah?”

Keith seemed to hesitate, eyes set on the pillow under his head. “Can we… uh.”

“Can we what?”

“You know.” Keith frowned, eyebrows pinched in annoyance, and he vaguely gestured with one hand between them.

A grin slowly stretched across Lance’s face, and he did his best to memorize everything about this moment. “Are you asking me if we can cuddle?”

“Shut up, don’t rub it in.”

Still smiling, Lance threw out both arms in invitation. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this. I am putty in your arms, _mi querido.”_

The term of endearment seemed to bring a splash of color to Keith’s cheeks, and Lance felt very strongly in his soul that _“God, he’s adorable.”_ He could only imagine how he would react if he actually knew what it meant.

And then Keith grabbed his wrist in a tight lock with one hand, and Lance’s eyes widened.

“Wait, no, please don’t judo throw me.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

Though Keith sounded very tempted, he showed leniency and flipped over, turning his back into Lance’s front and merely settling into his chest, placing his arm over his waist. Lance instantly felt the flush of Keith’s warm body against him, and it made him smile wide, arm pulling him closer.

“Oh, went straight for the little spoon position. I see you, Keith Kogane.”

“Remember what I said about tempting me.”

“Right, “don’t.” My humblest apologies.”

“You don’t sound very sorry.”

“You’re right, I’m not.”

It was like Lance could sense the I’m-rolling-my-eyes energy Keith was sending his way, and it just made Lance smile more. He probably looked stupid, but he didn’t care. Instead, he pulled Keith even closer, arm secure around his waist as he pressed his face into Keith’s hair. He left another kiss there, this time closer to the nape of his neck, and settled in for the night. Keith smelled clean, like mint and eucalyptus.

Lance felt a hand trace over his forearm, and he tried not to shiver too much as fingertips trailed over his skin, running against the way the little hairs grew. It finally settled over his hand, pulling him up toward Keith’s chest to be held by two hands.

“I bet this ruins my image, huh?” Keith asked quietly, fingers slowly threading with Lance’s. “I’m not the strong, dependable leader of Voltron now, am I?”

“Are you kidding me?” Lance challenged, thumb rubbing at the back of Keith’s hand. “Before all this, you were just my rival—the ace pilot, military prodigy that made me angry. But after getting to know you, you’re not just “Cadet Kogane” anymore. You’re Keith. You’re more human to me now. And I would follow you into any battle.”

Keith hummed, pulling Lance’s hand closer to his chest. “That makes me feel a little better. Glad to know my star sharpshooter has my back.”

Lance pressed his cheek into Keith’s shoulder, nuzzling him gently with his nose. “Always, samurai. Whenever you need me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't expecting any of these to get overly angsty but honestly I just needed my boy Keith to grieve.
> 
> My Tumblr writing blog: shiori07  
> My casual blog (mostly Voltron): fanaticcriminal


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I forgot to post yesterday. I apologize, I swear this was ready.

Keith shouldn’t have been so surprised when his turn finally rolled around. It had really only been a matter of time before it happened, before Lance snuck into his room instead and sought him out. After all the times Keith had gone seeking Lance for comfort, it was about time he returned the favor.

It was late at night. Keith was lying on his back in bed, hands folded behind his head and knee poking out to the side as he contemplated the ceiling. It was dark, and the darkness slowly grew and grew until Keith blinked and the room went back to normal.

He wouldn’t have heard it unless things were this quiet, but a small knock came from Keith’s door. Frowning, he pushed himself up by the elbows to try and get a better look at it, like the door would offer him an explanation as to why someone was visiting this late. But without fully being conscious of it, he seemed to know exactly who would do something like that, and said in a voice a bit louder than normal volume: “Come in.”

The door slid open with a hiss, and striding in wearing his pajamas was the one and only Lance McClain.

Something did a flip inside Keith’s chest as he stared at Lance, vaguely registering the sound of the door hissing closed again. He mentally growled a few choice words at said chest before Lance finally turned to face him.

“Hey, Lance,” Keith greeted, unable to stop the little smile creeping across his face.

When Lance didn’t smile back or answer in the slightest, Keith frowned, his chest squirming in response. “Lance?”

He only had a second to really study him, to catch the alarming lack of emotion in his face, before Lance was walking toward the bed and slipping under the covers. He went straight for Keith’s side, arms quickly snaking around his waist and face pressing into his chest. His leg took advantage of Keith’s knee and wrapped around it, hooking their legs together before finally lying still, pressing a large, warm weight into the side of Keith’s body.

The sudden contact packed along with Lance’s heavy silence left Keith frozen, his eyes briefly fixed on the wall across the room. For a long moment, his brain was only aware of the arms wrapped around him, of their tight hold and solid weight. Finally, he blinked, making himself look down at the top of Lance’s head and the fluffy brown hair adorning it. Lance didn’t even twitch from his position, just kept himself pressed close to Keith’s side and didn’t say a word.

Slowly, Keith lifted his arm and wrapped it around Lance’s shoulder, palm resting lightly on the joint. “You okay?” he whispered, careful to keep his voice low. When Lance remained quiet, so did he, and instead began to rub at Lance’s bicep, fingertips trailing and pressing gently to massage the muscle.

“It’s nothing,” Lance finally answered, voice low and mumbled, and Keith could feel his lips moving against the fabric of his t-shirt. “It’s dumb.”

“I won’t think it’s dumb,” Keith promised, and slowly, he leaned back against his pillow again, his right hand moving to rub at Lance’s shoulder blades. His other hand lifted from the sheets beside him and went to rest across the arms around his waist. “You can tell me.”

There was a pause.

“I’m just homesick,” Lance admitted sadly, cheek rubbing against Keith’s pectoral as he shifted. His hand pulled at Keith’s shirt, and Keith could feel him twisting the fabric at his hip. “I know I shouldn’t complain because _everyone_ misses their families. Like I know Hunk misses his moms and Pidge misses her dad and her brother—and Allura and Coran miss their entire dead planet, so I’m not special or anything… but I just really miss Earth.”

Lance’s voice had grown small by the end, one of his hands still twisting and untwisting Keith’s shirt. For a moment, Keith wasn’t sure what to say, his hand pausing as he continued to stare up at the ceiling. He seemed to stay silent too long.

“See? It is dumb.”

“No.” The indignation was immediate, the word coming out sharper than Keith had intended. “No, Lance, it’s not dumb.”

He felt Lance’s hand still as it fisted in his shirt. Keith resumed rubbing circles into his back, following the muscle along his spine.

“You just miss your family. There’s nothing dumb about it.”

Keith felt something twitch against his chest, and he thought maybe it was Lance giving a small smile. “I guess I know that in theory… but I can’t help thinking I’m just whining about it.” The arm behind Keith’s back tugged him a little closer, but the other moved from his waist to rest on his stomach, and he stilled as Lance began to trace patterns into his skin with his fingers. “I mean, I may miss my family and Earth and everything, but I got be become a Paladin of Voltron, right? I fight with an amazing group of people to defend the universe—I pretty much became a legend overnight… and yet the only thing I can think about is leaving some day to go back home. Everyone else is so focused and I’m just. Selfish.”

Keith sat up abruptly, leaving Lance to awkwardly slump against him and look up with wide eyes.

“Are you kidding me?” Keith hissed, fists clenching in the sheets behind him as he supported himself with his arms. “You are literally the least selfish person I’ve ever met! How are you stupid enough to get around to thinking something like that?”

Blinking owlishly, Lance pushed himself up, leaning with one hand pressed into the mattress. “Wow, Keith. Tell me how you really feel.”

A bit of panic and guilt pricked at Keith’s insides, and he clenched his jaw, hand pressed over his eyes. “I didn’t… I didn’t mean that you were stupid. I’m sorry. I just meant… I don’t understand how you can think like that when you’re really the complete opposite.”

Keith brought his hand down just in time to catch Lance shrug. “I don’t really know why I think like this. I mean, I try not to, but it’s just never logical. It’s always been like that.”

Keith closed his eyes, squeezing tight like he could erase all the things he said if he tried hard enough. He hated that he was so bad at talking. He was supposed to be the leader, the Black Paladin. What kind of leader sucked this bad at verbal diplomacy? He didn’t understand why Lance chose to go to _him_ for comfort.

There was so much Keith wanted to say to that effect, but all he could manage was a lame “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.” Keith felt a hand move to his cheek, the thumb brushing gently against his skin, and he opened his eyes. Lance was giving him a small smile. “It’s not your fault.”

“Stop,” Keith sighed softly, grabbing Lance’s hand and cradling it against his cheek. Lance’s skin was cold, and Keith did his best to cover as much as possible. “Don’t comfort me. I’m supposed to be comforting _you_ , not the other way around.”

Lance continued to give him that same smile. “But that’s my job, isn’t it? As your right-hand man?”

Keith shook his head, meeting Lance’s gaze steadily. “Not all the time. I refuse to let you shoulder all that on your own.”

Caught in the moment, Keith turned his head and kissed the heel of Lance’s palm, rubbing his thumb across the back of his hand soothingly. As soon as he did it, he felt himself flush slightly, but continued to maintain eye contact in earnest. And then he saw Lance smile—a true, genuine smile—as he began to stroke Keith’s cheek again.

“How did I get so lucky to have you?”

“It was dumb luck really,” Keith answered with a smile. “Plus, you have really bad taste in guys.”

“Don’t be so modest.” Lance rolled his eyes, but it was a relief to see him smiling again. “I don’t want this to go straight to that hot head of yours, but I’d say you’re a pretty decent dude.”

“’A pretty decent dude’? Wow, my self-esteem just shot through the roof.”

“See? This is exactly what I was afraid of,” Lance insisted, chuckling through his words in a way that had Keith’s heart stuttering. “What have I done?”

“What you do best,” Keith answered, briefly noticing how he had spoken on a breath before he grabbed the front of Lance’s shirt and pulled him in until their lips met. Lance made a small, startled sound in the back of his throat, but soon his arms had circled around Keith’s waist to pull him closer. With his arms occupied, Lance had to place his weight on Keith’s front, and so Keith could only spare one hand in moving up past Lance’s collarbones to the base of his neck, curling in his hair, nails scratching gently at his scalp.

He felt Lance smile against him, and Keith felt something warm and feather-light expand in his chest.

“Wait, so what _do_ I do best?”

Keith reluctantly paused in giving Lance’s lips his attention, eyebrows furrowed. He honestly couldn’t remember what he had just been saying. “What?”

“What do I do best?” Lance asked again, smirking in obvious amusement at the hazy look in his eyes.

“I can’t remember… _Everything?”_

That made Lance giggle—actually giggle—and Keith couldn’t resist peppering him with more kisses.

“Hmm, wait. I remember,” he muttered, placing a few more pecks to the corner of Lance’s lips. “You’re good at brightening a room even when you’re feeling sad or insecure. You’re so caring and selfless and you always put other people first. You’re Lance.”

“Keith…” Lance began but trailed off as he met Keith’s eyes.

Keith smiled softly, leaning forward to press their foreheads together and placing one last kiss on Lance’s cheek. “Yeah?”

He felt Lance’s arms around his waist, loose and comfortable. “Who knew you could be so sweet and affectionate? I’m floored, to be perfectly honest.”

Keith shrugged, letting his hand trail down Lance’s neck to just below his ear, letting his thumb run along Lance’s jaw. “ _I_ sure didn’t. I’ve never really considered myself to be a very affectionate person but… it’s easier with you, I guess.”

“Hmm. I feel honored then.” It was Lance’s turn to kiss Keith, pressing a quick kiss to his nose before grinning. “This may seem a little forward, but I was thinking about taking you to Veradero sometime.”

Keith forgot to breathe for a second. “Is that where you’re from?”

Lance nodded. “Veradero Beach in Cuba. I grew up around there before the Garrison.”

“Tell me about it.”

He watched Lance’s blue eyes blink, and he realized that he loved that color. The depth seemed to pull him in, like he was slowly sinking into the ocean but he wasn’t drowning.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I want to hear about your family and the place you grew up. Give me something to look forward to when we get back.”

“You’re gonna regret saying that. My family is _huge.”_

Keith shrugged, though he saw the smile blooming on Lance’s face and felt his lips twitch up at the corners. Honestly, he would love to hear about Lance’s enormous family if they made him smile like that.

Leaning back into his pillows again, Keith gestured for Lance to follow him, and soon enough they were back in their earlier position—Lance curled into Keith, their hands laced together on Keith’s stomach.

“Alright, to start, let me introduce my family: there’s mamá and papí and my three siblings, Veronica, Marco, and Luís. All of which are annoying. But Ronnie had kids a few years ago and I would honestly die for Rosita and Ethan. Then there’s abuelita and her new husband Joswé, who are adorable, and my tíos Rafael, Toni, Imelda, Molly, and Santiago—but we call him “Cal,” short for “Calcetín.” Which is Spanish for “sock.” We’ll get to that later. And, of course, all my cousins. And there are a lot, so brace yourself…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LET LANCE RANT ABOUT HIS FAMILY HE MISSES THEM


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was out of town Thursday, so I apologize for skipping. But here's this thing I made.

Keith couldn’t say why he went back to his room after announcing he was leaving Voltron. He didn’t imagine that he’d have much room for personal belongings with the Blades, so it wasn’t like he should be packing. Something told him that he wouldn’t have anywhere to keep them. And anyway, it wasn’t like he had much to take with him. The only benefit of visiting at all was wasted time.

So he ended up standing in the middle of his room, staring silently around at the first real home he’d had in years. And as he stood there, eyes roaming over the bed with stiff sheets and the closet with exactly three shirts and three pants in it, he realized that he hadn’t spent a lot of time there lately. He supposed that was the point but… it was still a little sad.

He circled around the small room, taking in what little he had. In the end, he stopped at his door and the red jacket hanging next to it—the only thing he owned that had any sentimental value—and took one sleeve in hand. He had been through a lot with this jacket. It was a shame having to leave it behind.

“So, you’re really leaving?”

The sleeve slid out of Keith’s grasp to dangle along the wall again, and for a moment he watched it swing gently. He could feel a presence behind him, eyes fixed on the back of his head—patient, waiting. He couldn’t very well ignore it, so he took a breath and finally turned around.

Lance was leaning against the doorframe, standing halfway between the hallway and Keith’s room. He carried himself a little differently now than he had on the bridge, shoulders hunched and arms crossed, blue eyes steely. There was no smile on his face—in fact, his face was expressionless. The only indication that there was a person behind the mask was the way he never broke eye contact, like he was expecting something.

In spite of everything, Keith gave him a small half-smile. “Yeah, I am.”

“Why?” The question came immediately, and Keith saw the way Lance’s eyebrows knit together. “I know what you said about giving Shiro the Black Lion back and being needed with the Blade but… you’re just gonna _leave?_ We haven’t spoken in weeks—I had _no idea_ and you just… _”_

There was a moment of silence, and the two continued to stare at each other. Lance was standing a little straighter now, hands clenching his biceps and wrinkling the sleeves of his jacket. Keith felt himself shrink, eyes flickering away to somewhere across the room. He had expected the team to resist his decision, expected to get more than one talking-to about where he was needed and why. He had even expected Lance to be upset with him—and getting into a fight as a result didn’t seem that far-fetched. The last thing Keith wanted to do was argue with Lance before leaving, but at this point it seemed unavoidable.

Sighing, Keith gestured for Lance to come closer, figuring that he could at least let him say what was on his mind without disturbing the others.

“Come in.”

After a tick, Lance pushed himself to stand on his own and stepped inside, the door hissing closed behind him. His arms unfolded as he moved closer, and Keith didn’t look at him. He waited for a punch, a kick, a scream—any of those options and more seemed possible with an angry Lance. But Keith supposed it was fair, and so he merely braced himself.

What he didn’t expect was for Lance to wrap his arms around him, bury his face in his neck, and whisper _“Don’t go.”_

Keith stood frozen for a good minute, not breathing as Lance gripped him tight, fingers hooked into his shoulders as he pressed a line of pressure between their bodies. The sudden thought that he wished he was wearing civvies and not Blade armor jarred Keith enough that he almost lost his resolve. In an instant, it hit him that he would soon be very far away from Lance—that he wouldn’t be able to see him every day. He wouldn’t see that easy smile, wouldn’t hear his laughter from all the way across the castle. They wouldn’t be able to spar together on the training deck or race each other in their lions. He wouldn’t be able to kick Lance under the table at meal times because he was making weird faces when no one else was looking. They wouldn’t go stargazing, wouldn’t sneak around the castle at night to mess around, wouldn’t give each other private smiles in public or laugh out of nowhere and get stared at because of some dumb inside joke. He wouldn’t be able to kiss him, to hold him—listen to him babble about his family or tell stupid jokes. There would be no more late-night talks or lazy mornings, no more stroking his hair, no more lame puns, no more lying awake at night in his arms studying every angle of his face because he can’t sleep.

In that instant, Keith remembered warm sheets, smooth skin, and soft laughter, and he felt his hollow chest ache.

“Please don’t go,” he heard Lance say again, softer this time. Keith swallowed, finally bringing himself to lift his arms and hug Lance back, winding around to tightly grip the back of his jacket. _God,_ he really wished he wasn’t wearing armor.

“I’m sorry” was all he could manage.

“I could step down.” Lance made no move to release him, still holding tight and speaking into the side of his neck. “Shiro needs his right-hand-man now that he can pilot Black again.”

It sounded like Lance was planning to go on, but Keith shook his head. “And what? You’ll go back to Blue? What about Allura? You expect her to just go back to flying the castle-ship?”

Lance was quiet, and Keith rubbed small circles into his back with his left hand.

“Besides, the team needs you. You belong here as the Red Paladin.”

“And you don’t?”

“…I have to go with the Blades, Lance.”

“Why does it have to be them?” Lance asked, and it was obvious there was supposed to be bite in those words, but it had fallen flat. “You’ll be out there fighting the Galra alone—forget that you’re fighting with our allies, we barely _know_ the Blade of Marmora. At least, if you were here with us… you’d be with family. We’d all be together and know you were safe.”

_At least, if you were here with us, I’d be there to make sure you were okay._

The unspoken words floated in the air around them. Keith could feel his throat close up.

“I’ll be fine.”

“You’re not making any kind of solid argument and that’s not making me feel better.”

Keith turned his head, face pressing into the span of skin under Lance’s ear. “I have to go.”

Lance only held him tighter, his feet slotting further with Keith’s. “I wish you wouldn’t.”

“I’m needed there.”

“And you don’t think you’re needed here too?”

At this, Lance finally pulled away, but only enough to look Keith in the eye. This close, the blue in his irises was bright and intense.

“You don’t think _I_ need you?”

Keith swallowed again. He could feel warmth pool suspiciously behind his eyes as he let go of Lance’s jacket. Instead, he brought his hands between their chests to cup both sides of Lance’s face.

“You don’t need me,” he murmured, stroking the smooth skin beneath his thumbs. “You know you don’t. You’re strong and brave and capable without me. You’ll be fine.”

“I _want_ to need you,” Lance amended, and tears spilled from his eyes as he shut them. Keith gently wiped them away. “I don’t want you to leave.”

 _I don’t want to either,_ Keith almost replied, but stopped himself before the words could escape his throat. If he had admitted that, had gone on to speak the core truth to the entire reason he was leaving, he would be giving Lance something to snag on, a way to get him to stay. With that one allowance, Keith knew he would unravel faster than a rolling spool of thread.

“But I need to,” he said instead, closing his eyes and resting their foreheads together. “I need to do this for myself.”

_And I’m doing this for you too, you know. This way, I’ll leave so you won’t have to._

More words drifted through his mind that he couldn’t say, and so Keith clenched his jaw and held Lance closer. He shut his eyes, hoping that Lance would understand without fully knowing all the reasons. And through his own will, Keith kept himself from crying.

Lance took a shuddering breath, arms moving from Keith’s shoulders to crush his waist instead as he nuzzled his cheek with his nose. Keith just wiped at the few tears that continued to flow with his thumbs, his remaining fingers massaging through Lance’s hair and at the nape of his neck. They stood like that for a long time, holding each other as tightly as they could, and Keith could only think about how close they were, how they had grown so attached. And soon, they would be torn apart, and that would hurt more than if Keith clawed off his own skin.

“When do you have to leave?” Lance asked, voice soft but steady. He had started rubbing at Keith’s sides with his thumbs, and Keith felt a bittersweet spark of happiness that the Blade had stealth more in mind than combat, because he could feel the movement through his thin armor.

“Soon,” he answered, letting his hands trail passed Lance’s jaw to rest on his neck. “It’s better that I catch up with Kolivan before he decides to head back to base.”

“Really soon, then,” Lance muttered, and Keith nodded silently. “You don’t even have time to just sit here with me?”

Keith smiled sadly, and it was his turn to rub Lance’s cheek with his own. “Afraid not.”

There was a huff. “Well, you better at least kiss me goodbye or else I really will get mad.”

Keith’s smile widened the smallest bit. “So, you’re not mad.”

“Oh, you better believe I'm mad. I just didn’t want to use up whatever time we had left arguing.”

Keith kissed him then, soft and sweet but short. He wanted to say thank you, to tell Lance that he had thought the same thing. He wanted to say three words most people in their situation would say, three words that Keith had never said to anyone in such a context. Three words that Lance had never heard him say. But he didn’t, and he again held his tongue, because he knew for a fact that if he said them, Lance wouldn’t let him leave. And Keith knew he would do nothing to resist.

Thankfully, Lance kissed him again, this time harder, more desperate. He clung to Keith tightly, fingers digging as firmly as they could into the armor at his back. Keith responded by wrapping his arms around Lance’s neck, hands immediately tangling into soft hair. Their lips spoke without speaking, moved without making a sound, one pair pleading _“please stay”_ and the other crying _“I wish I could.”_

When the two finally pulled apart, they were panting, still tucked into each other’s embrace, and for a while they merely stood still. Keith didn’t want the moment to end, didn’t want to ever leave the arms that he had come to love so much, but he knew that it had to be done.

He finally pulled away, arms lingering around Lance's shoulders. “I should get going now.”

Lance sent him a smile, but it was painful to watch him try so hard at something that normally came so easy to him. “Promise you’ll at least visit, okay, Mullet? Or check-in from time to time if you’re too busy. Shiro would go crazy with worry if you didn’t at least check-in.”

Keith smiled too, though he imagined it was just as hard to pull off as it was for Lance. “I’ll try,” he answered, and finally pulled himself from Lance’s arms. With one last grimace, he moved away toward the door. One of the hands around his waist followed after, touching his shoulder, trailing down his wrist and to his hand, only to slip away when he had stepped too far.

And for a long moment, Keith stood alone in his doorway, Lance alone in his room, and the two refused to break eye contact. Finally, Keith pressed the keypad on the wall, and the door slid open.

“Goodbye, Lance,” he said, smiling fondly, and before he could find an excuse to stay a minute longer, he turned and left, putting his room and the boy inside it far behind him.

It was sad to say that he was gone before he could hear Lance whisper a reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why did I do this to myself?
> 
> My tumblr is the same as my pen-name if you're interested.


	5. Chapter 5

Lance had never known true anger until he learned that Keith was an absolute idiot. Sure, he had been mad before, felt what it was like to be annoyed with someone and fight and argue. But _this?_ Oh, this was an entirely different feeling. It was like his insides were boiling, his heart rapidly spreading volcanic heat through his system and making his eyes see nothing but red. It took every ounce of his self-control not to explode. At least, not yet.

He rounded the corner sharply, stomping quickly down the halls of the Castle of Lions until he reached the launch bay. As soon as he opened the doors, he could see the few ships that had landed since they saved Naxella. Lotor’s ship was the most noticeable, along with a few that belonged to the Resistance and the Blades. Another small fighter was just landing, one that was distinctively purple and t-shaped.

Someone in Blade armor and most definitely not Galra hopped out of the cockpit.

Lance was over there before it had occurred to him to move.

As soon as Keith touched the ground, he turned his head at the sound of footsteps, looking faintly surprised to see he already had company.

“La—”

Lance shoved him _hard_ before he could finish, and Keith stumbled back into the side of his ship.

_“Lance, what the—?!”_

_“How dare you!”_

Lance said it through gritted teeth, jaw threatening to shatter and hands clenched so tight he had no feeling in his fingers. He didn’t have feeling anywhere else either. He only had pure rage searing through every vein.

Keith pushed himself from his stolen fighter, eyes narrowed and lit with anger as he turned a sharp glare on Lance. “What was that for?!”

“You know very well what it’s for!” Lance shouted. He could barely think over his words now before saying them. It was like they formed themselves and left his mouth before he even thought them. “Matt told me what happened, Keith!”

There was a sudden silence, and for a moment, Keith just stared at him. Then, very briefly, his gaze flicked to something on his left before looking Lance in the eye again.

“Can I talk to you? In private?” Keith asked sharply, and without another word, he walked past Lance to head deeper into the Castle. Lance scoffed, turning to follow him, when he noticed their small audience further into the bay. Pidge and Hunk were watching him from beside Lotor’s ship. They seemed concerned, if not a little anxious. Lance wasn’t really in the mood to deal with that, so he huffed and left the launch bay.

Keith’s familiar form lead him through the halls of the Castle, only turning one corner before disappearing into a door to the side. Still grinding his teeth, Lance opened the door and slid in after him.

Inside was some kind of supply room—Lance wouldn’t know, he never went through any of the techy stuff—and it was only slightly bigger than a walk-in closet. Leaning against some shelves in the back was Keith, arms crossed over his armor and eyes locked on Lance with cold stoicism.

“Alright, make it quick. I’m supposed to report to Kolivan soon.”

“Oh, _Kolivan._ So that’s how it is now.” Lance rolled his eyes, throwing his hands briefly into the air. “That explains so much. It’s just about the mission to you, isn’t it?”

“Lance—”

“You know what? No, don’t ‘Lance’ me. I can’t believe you, Keith. You were willing to kamikaze this mission just because you thought it would help.”

“It’s what was necessary,” Keith answered, and Lance was just about ready to throw the nearest chunk of metal he could find at his face. “If I had to sacrifice myself to defeat the empire and save the universe, then that’s what I was going to do. Besides, did you expect me to just sit there and watch Voltron _die?_ The Coalition needs you to win the war.”

“Forget the war!” Lance shouted, gesturing again with his hands. “What’s the point of the war if we all have to die to win? That’s worse than losing!”

“But if it’s one person that dies for the good of everyone else, then it’s worth it. Mission over individual.”

“Oh, so is that what the Blade of Marmora has been teaching you?” Lance hissed, and he could feel the pressure building behind his ribs. _“Mission over individual?_ So basically, no one there values you? You’re just a necessary sacrifice for the greater good?”

“That’s not wrong.”

_“Oh! So you’re defending them?!”_

Lance had taken three steps and was suddenly towering over Keith. The height difference was barely even there to begin with, but it was like Keith wasn’t trying to push back. It was like Lance was talking to a brick wall and it just made him _furious._

And Keith just blinked at him, remaining infuriatingly calm. “I’m just one person, Lance. If I have to die for the greater good, that’s just how it is. That’s war.”

“And you actually believe that,” Lance asked, but it felt more like a statement as he stared into Keith’s eyes. They didn’t waver, and they met Lance’s gaze head on. He had to swallow, take a step back and cover his face with one hand. _“Ay Dios,_ I hate that you believe that.”

Those eyes were still on him as he looked away, their attention burning a different kind of heat into the side of his face.

“Lance—”

“It’s just—” He scrubbed his hand down his face and turned to look at Keith again. “You just don’t get it. You obviously _don’t get it_ if you think you’re in your right mind right now. Do you know what it would do to the team if you just died? Have you ever stopped to think that willingly killing yourself is the opposite of helping?”

“If I die and it saves the team, then I’ll do it.”

“No. No, no, no, no, _stop._ Stop talking, let me finish.” Lance took a deep breath, shutting his eyes for a second before continuing. “To humor you, we’ll look at this from a practical standpoint, okay? If everyone thought that dying was the best way to end the war, then everyone would die for the war, right? But if everyone dies, what’s the point? There’s nothing left to have fought for. That’s stupid and impractical and I hate that the Blade is teaching that to you.”

“But we’re dying for the people who aren’t fighting.” The fact that Keith had said it in the present tense made Lance wince as he continued. “Soldiers go to war to die for the civilians in their homes, Lance. I’m sorry if you don’t see it the way I do, but that’s just how it—”

“Don’t you dare say that that’s just how it is.” Lance had taken that step forward again, actively grinding his teeth to keep himself from punching Keith in the face. “Fine, let’s look at this from a personal standpoint then and maybe that will get it through your thick head how stupid you’re being. Have you ever stopped to think what your death would mean to the people back home? Have you ever stopped to think what your death would mean to _us?”_

“That doesn’t—”

“Oh, it matters, Keith. I’m not done. Do you know what would happen to the team if you _killed yourself for us?_ We’d all feel sad and guilty! We’d feel like we didn’t do enough, that you thought we would be better off without you!”

The old Keith seemed to finally be returning, because the person in front of Lance was bearing toward him, jaw clenching and eyes bright with anger. “Well maybe you would have been! If Lotor hadn’t come along, all of you would be _dead_ and then what was _I_ supposed to do? Nothing?!”

“I don’t know, but not that!”

“You’re really selling yourself now, Lance. I’m glad that you grew up and learned what it means to be a soldier.”

“Wow, okay. So we’re going the ‘you’re immature’ route. That’s original. And says the one who can’t think of anyone but himself!”

“I think that if I was willing to die for the team, then I was literally thinking of everyone _but_ myself!”

“Oh yeah? Well did you ever stop to think about Shiro? Or Pidge or Hunk or Allura or Coran? They all would have been devasted! And Shiro—he would have fallen apart! Are you seriously going to tell me that you were willing to put everyone through that?”

“If it saved them, then—”

_“Did you ever stop to think about what it would do to ME?”_

It wasn’t until after he said it that Lance realized he had screamed, and suddenly their little closet became silent. And Keith was staring, and Lance didn’t know if he could handle that, so he looked down at his feet.

When he spoke next, his voice was barely above a whisper.

“Did it ever occur to you that I would care?” he asked, studying the toe of his boot. “Did you ever… did you ever really _think_ about what that would do to me? I would have… _God,_ I don’t know. I would have thought—that maybe—you didn’t think I cared. I would feel like I had failed you, like I hadn’t done enough to let you know how important you were. I should have been enough to keep you from doing something like that… Keith, if you died, I—”

Lance couldn’t finish. The words clogged his throat, and even then he wasn’t sure what those words were. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to have finished that sentence. Instead of talking, he continued to stare down at his feet. Silent.

“I guess I never thought…” Keith began, and his was voice quiet—a mere murmur in the space between them. “To me, it was always about if you were alive or not. If I had to choose between you and me…”

“But you shouldn’t _have_ to make that choice,” Lance answered firmly, and he could feel a pang in his chest and tears prickle at his eyes. “Don’t _ever_ make that choice. _Por favor,_ _querido.”_

It had been a long time since he had used that word. It made Keith’s eyes widen.

Lance was doing everything in his power not to lurch forward and take Keith into his arms. The anger had virtually sizzled out by now, and all he felt was an ache in his chest. He had almost lost Keith mere hours ago and Keith wouldn’t have known...  _anything._

“Don’t you see? It’s not worth it. If you have to die for us to win the war, then we might as well let the Galra take over. If you or anyone has to sacrifice their lives to save others, then is it worth it?”

“…If I had to choose between you and me, I’d always choose you.”

Lance swallowed, and he could feel the tears threaten to spill over.

“But I’ll try not to let it come to that. For you.”

Lance shook his head, and the tears finally came. “You should also do it for _you._ You need to value yourself and I hate that you don’t. I really do.”

Suddenly he was a speechless mess, and Lance did his best to wipe the tears away and take calming breaths. He hated that he was crying about this. He didn’t want this to be an emotional thing—he was _trying_ to be logical and convincing and he was failing miserably.

He felt two hands hesitantly touch his shoulders, hovering for a moment before he could feel their weight through his armor. Then, gently, they slid down his biceps to rest above his elbows. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Keith’s face, so he just let his head droop and leaned forward until it rested on something solid.

“Caring about you is really exhausting. You know that, right?”

Keith began to massage at his arms, hands running up and down soothingly. “Then why do you do it?” he asked quietly, his voice coming from a spot very close to Lance’s face. “Wouldn’t it just be easier to forget about me?”

Lance laughed in spite of everything, and even though he was supposed to be angry with Keith, he allowed himself to shuffle a little closer. “You’re a bit difficult to forget. And it doesn’t matter if I want to care or not, I just do. Even if it’s a pain.”

“So I’m a pain now. That’s fair, I guess.”

“At least you’re aware of it,” Lance muttered, feeling himself smile just a little bit. “That’s a start.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while. College started again and a lot has been going on as of late. Also, you know... season 7. I may or may not be working on a fix-it fic because GOD... but I digress.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed. And let me know if I run into continuity errors or you think there's an important part in the timeline that I'm forgetting about that these two need to address. Assuming that I'm not forgetting anything, I think there will be three more chapters?
> 
> Check out my Tumblr shiori07 for updates and other works.


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